LT13 | I’ve Found Joy…Depression is Gone

Part 1:

Calling on the Lord

In 1995, I had a financial downturn; things got so bad with my life and this left me frustrated. I have been in several kinds of churches. In fact, I was born in a church, not in a hospital as should be the case. I did several things out of ignorance and desperation as I visited many churches and even prayer houses.

After a while, I became tired of the turn of my life. I remember praying a simple prayer inside my room, saying that if God was truly God, I wanted to know Him and have Him show me what path to take in my quest for Him. After saying this, I didn’t know what to say again so I just ended it with ‘in Jesus name’ and left the room. One week after this, I became born again by God’s grace and help.

Since then, I have been a believer and have been studying the Bible. I have attended about 4 Bible schools – short bible courses and a major one. So, I always thought I knew the Bible above average as I taught people on different church platforms. Truly, if it were not that I constantly avoided it, I believe that I would have been given a ‘big church title’ and had an ordination by now; that would have been my undoing.

Part 2:

Help! I’m not satisfied

By the fourth quarter of the year 2016, another shaking began and I began to feel helpless and hopeless again. By January 2017, during the traditional 21-day fast of the church group I was attending, I made up my mind to experience a change in my life. I was back to the kind of situation I was in 1995. I remember kneeling down and asking God which church group He wanted me to join and be of service to Him. I felt I needed a definite change in my life and told Him that I didn’t want anything other than to serve Him.

I suppose I said that prayer on a Sunday evening because by Wednesday that week, I didn’t go to any church group. I didn’t know which one to attend. Just then, a sister called me and asked where I was worshipping at the moment. I told her that I wished I knew where exactly I was but was at a loss at the moment. I told her I didn’t have a church group and that I actually believed God for some answers in that regard. She promised to call me back, although she didn’t call back that day.

The next day, I called her reminding her of her promise to call and asking her if she had a church group to recommend to me. She reminded me of a book she had previously given me which was authored by Bankole Olusina (Pastor Bankie). I had read it and downloaded other books from the referenced website. Then, she told me of a church group that teaches a similar message to what was written in that book, but she added that it was a small church which met in someone’s house. I replied that the location and size didn’t matter. When I asked for the directions to the place, she promised to get back to me and send the directions, but she didn’t. I believe all the delays were to test my faith and perseverance.

On Saturday that week, I called her again, because she had mentioned that someone would call me, and told her that no one had called. My hope for a fresh spring was dependent on her response even as I had mentally noted the church groups to check out and those that didn’t fit the bill. Later on, the sister sent me a text message giving me directions to God’s Lighthouse and the time schedule for the meetings.

I went for the meeting and as it began, I sat in the sitting room quietly observing everything that went on. I am naturally a very inquisitive and zealous person which means that if I want to believe in anything, I will believe it totally and if I choose to be involved in something, I do it with all of my heart. There is usually no holding back for me; it is either I am in or not. So that day, for the first 30 minutes of my arrival, I was seated there and totally confused. I asked God in my heart why He brought me there; I asked Him what was happening especially with all the young people who made up the church. I simply concluded that it wasn’t a proper church and I couldn’t serve Him there. I thought of my age and how old I was amongst the children. It was really difficult picturing myself as a member of this church group.

Then, Pastor started talking and making some serious statements. I initially made to write down what was being said but I dropped the book and decided to just listen to him. The key attraction for me was the level of enthusiasm I noticed in everyone; the eagerness to learn, the excitement and reception of God’s word. I could sense the Spirit of God right in that room and I asked myself ‘what is happening here’? This was different from any other church group I had attended. At the end of that service, I simply knew that it was God who brought me there and wanted to impart something specific to me through the church group. Based on this, I kept attending and have never stopped attending meetings since that day. Each day I come to fellowship, I discover that God is full of wisdom and His ways are past finding out.

Why Testify?

In recent times, God has been speaking about fighting battles saying ‘the battle line is being drawn’. Sometimes, I meditate and ask God, ‘who do you want these children to fight?’ I kept asking about “what they knew, how they will fight and how they will face the enemy”?. Sometimes, I’d imagine that it would be a physical fight but then I’ll remind myself of the actual battle – the spiritual fight. However, commencing from when life testimonies were shared, it started becoming clear to me that the battles and victories we were sharing about is what God has called us to fight with and the testimonies are our weapons. As I listened to the testimonies, I was being broken and knew that this is the heart of God for His children – deliverance from the depths of evil and freedom to serve Him fully. Therefore, we should be serious with what God wants to use us to accomplish because I know that God has something for us. I feel loved by God; it didn’t matter the material things I had lost in life or the things I had suffered, I just feel more of God’s love. I have had peace which I had never had before.

Part 3:

Strengthened by the Word of God

It’s been more than 20 years since I became a believer. These years do not include the days of unbelief or when I’d just attend church meetings, serve mass as a Catholic, participate in prayer houses at my grandmother’s house, and all other sort of things. I am talking about when I became born-again. Yet, in all these years, this is the first time that the Bible is beginning to make much sense to me in a profound way.

I seize this opportunity to plead with everyone to be serious and fully aware that God is doing something great in and through us. I know that it is clear that God’s thoughts are far more than what we know and if we are serious with Him, He will use us in amazing ways. We can see that through some visions that are shared, which at first do not seem comprehensible until God gives us understanding through Pastor’s words. I know that one can see that God’s thoughts are far more than what we know and if we are serious with him, he will use us in amazing ways; so, let us not be afraid.

During the retreat, we got words about fighting in God’s army, suffering for His sake and the like; I could see fear on some people’s faces and I pleaded with God to help us. I know that God is taking us somewhere but let’s be serious. If we understand the things that attack people in life, young and old people, in homes and churches, you will know that when God is talking about battles, He is serious about it.

So, I thank God that in the least, I am part of what He is doing, and we are all part of it and together, God’s name will be glorified. Hallelujah!

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