I had a strong urge to pray this evening.
After I’d prayed in the spirit for quite a while, I found myself praying that the judgments of God should come. It felt very weird, especially as I didn’t think I would want any of it—humanly speaking. Or, maybe I was simply scared that I myself wasn’t ready for the answer to such a prayer.
I tried to initiate a prayer for mercy, but it did not work. I just kept welcoming His judgments.
I think it was around then I saw a zebra, running in a beautiful forest. It was running very fast, almost like it was a war horse. It was like it had to catch up with something. Because of its colours (black and white), I had an inkling it was about justice/judgment.
Then I was shown a white horse who had moved far ahead in this forest. Then also a black horse, immediately behind the white. I understood the two opposite colours to represent the two ‘opposite’ dimensions: Mercy (White) and Judgment (Black) respectively.
Mercy had been the first season, and now it was Judgement’s time, as shown by the black horse following immediately after the white horse. After a while, the white horse and black horse were both walking side by side, and it was as if the black horse was going to overtake the white.
The zebra eventually caught up with the horses, and the three were now walking side by side, but briefly. Then the zebra came in between the horses, as they now were walking in a single file, with the white horse at the front and the black behind.
The focus was on the zebra. I understood it to represent a season we were in. It was a mixture of the two colours, and I had the impression it meant that people will still experience mercy in the midst of the judgement that is coming.
Maybe it meant that some people will be experiencing Mercy while others will experience Judgment, depending on the level of genuine repentance with which they have responded to His warnings in this season; or maybe it meant people will still be experiencing mercy in the midst of their floggings. But one thing was sure: following the Zebra is the Black horse. And I have the impression the Zebra’s time would be very transient (short).
Why a Zebra? I understood that it wasn’t only about the colours, but also about the function of a zebra crossing. It is to buy people time to cross over into safety. But a zebra crossing isn’t regulating the movement of the traffic all the time. I mean, the traffic is not going to wait all day for people to decide if they want to use it or not. If you don’t use the Zebra crossing now, forget it. You may end up being fatally hit by a vehicle.
Now is a very critical period.
This judgment season is not an excuse to be discouraged and wait for God’s wrath to fall on your head, while not making any attempt at genuine repentance. It is very dangerous to try God like that. This is what I mean—the way it came:
Instead of thinking:
“It’s judgement season already. There’s nothing I can do. It’s just too bad for me. There’s no hope; let God’s judgement fall on me. Let me continue to sin; there’s no hope and God’s judgement will still fall on me anyway, since it’s time for judgment…”, you should rather think this way:
“It’s judgment season already. I have messed up for too long. Let me repent. Perhaps the Lord will look upon me and show some mercy. Perhaps He will not judge me too severely. Even if He does, I will still repent. I deserve what I get. I am reaping what I have sown.”
Though it is not an ideal circumstance, it is very possible for this season of judgment to be a time when you become very close to God’s heart, like Pastor Ita’s illustration of the lamb whose leg has been broken by its loving shepherd [and thereafter becomes close/attached to him].
One other important thing that struck me was the fact that I wasn’t supposed to try to pray away God’s judgment when it was clearly time for it. It wasn’t a time to ask for mercy. It was a time to agree with God’s judgments. Doing otherwise would be like saying that God is wrong. I should instead AGREE WITH HIM, then perhaps it will please Him to show mercy to whom He will. After all, no one can accuse Him of not being merciful enough. It was when I agreed to agree with Him that the Zebra came.
Probably as a sign of experiencing mercy in the midst of judgment, I experienced some form of breakthrough with prayer today because I repented and responded to the call to pray. It has been a long time since I had access like this in my personal prayer life. I saw myself break through a brass heaven that had been hanging over my head, for a long time now. I only needed to make a little push through it. And it was very easy, or so it seemed.
July 20th, 2021
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