During my secondary school days, it was my desire to be known as a good boy and I succeeded because many people saw me as one. Along the line unfortunately, I got exposed to sexual content (pornography) and I had some older friends who were sexually active and didn’t see anything wrong with it.
At some point, I got into a relationship with one of my female neighbours and the devil helped us by giving us a room when one of my older friends in the compound relocated and entrusted all of his properties to me. I would sneak into the room with my girlfriend and engage in various defiling acts with her.
After secondary school, I tried getting admission into the university but it didn’t work out. I failed the Post – UTME exams and in order not to be idle, I started working to support myself and my family because we were having so many financial challenges at that time.
I got involved with another girl I met on the bus during my Post – UTME exam trip. Our relationship began on a ‘no sex’ rule, but with time, this rule was set aside as we got consumed by lust. Each time we met was an opportunity to explore and I looked forward to it as she was wild and ‘experienced’ but we couldn’t see each other often due to distance.
I had to find other sources as I had become addicted to my pleasure seeking. I got involved with a woman who was about fifteen years older than me and she was crazier than my girlfriend. Usually, after we met, she’d apologise to me and say things like “I am very sorry for spoiling you.” I kept wondering why since it was what I wanted too. Again, a time came when I could no longer see the older lady whenever I wanted to because of my job amongst other things. This was when I resorted to pornography and masturbation and my bondage began…
I would sometimes use the free WiFi at my workplace to download and watch pornographic videos. It was so bad that I could be in a church meeting and excuse myself to go out and masturbate, then come back crying about what I just did.
This continued for a long time till a point I was no longer getting my desired satisfaction from masturbating once or twice a day so I progressed to about 6-7 times a day.
I finally got admitted into the university and I had to relocate but this didn’t change anything. Masturbation became the way out for me. In my second year in the university, I got born again in a church meeting I attended and believed that this would be my freedom ticket, but my addiction only left me for a while even though I had ended my sinful relationships. I begged God to help me several times amidst tears but I kept going back to my vomit. At some point in my life, I was invited by one of the people in the fellowship I was attending to her church, God’s Lighthouse, though I was reluctant to attend initially.
After I started attending God’s Lighthouse, Pastor Ita wouldn’t stop teaching us about the power of God to overcome sin and giving us different fighting methods. One of those days, I opened up to him about my struggles, and he prayed for me. He told me to keep coming and sitting under the word of God which is able to wash away the filth in my soul. I obeyed and kept going to church, fellowshipping with other brethren and hearing the testimonies of how God delivered young people like me from different things including addictions!
Overtime,I realised masturbation was not as powerful as I thought it to be when the word of God got involved. The chains that were holding me captive got broken. The intense lustful desires disappeared and even when I got (or get) tempted, God provided (provides) a way of escape for me. It’s been two years now and counting and I haven’t masturbated!
God is very good to me.
Bro E.A
May 2019
© God’s Lighthouse 2019
