Moyo’s Chronicles
CHAPTER ONE
Healing From Bell’s Palsy
Part 1
Prior to Thursday, 30th June 2022, I had been feeling unwell since the previous week. I thought this was due to staying up late last Friday night to work on a project. For context, I was learning a skill online – fruit art and healthy drinks. We were taught how to make fruit juice and smoothies, and how to make crafts out of fruits. The Friday before was the last day to submit my final project which entailed making five different fruit juices with your recipe, and one fruit art. So I was on it till midnight. By the time I was done, I was really tired.
By Sunday, I started feeling pains in my face, my head, and the back of my ear. It was very light so I didn’t think much of it. By Monday, it had gotten worse. I could barely look at my phone. My eyes were very irritated and watery.
Monday afternoon, I had lost my sense of taste. I only ate because I was hungry. I didn’t understand what was going on but I didn’t pay much attention to it because I thought my body was reacting to stress in its own way, and as long as I rested well, I’ll be fine. I also paused every activity I was doing with my phone; the writing contest, writing the fellowship program, transcript editing, and every other thing that involved using my phone. I spoke to the authorities in charge explaining that I was unwell and needed some time to recover. They all agreed.
I was also supposed to start working on my final project in school that day but couldn’t so I spoke to my supervisor about my health and he allowed me to put it on hold. I also spoke with my coursemates with whom I was grouped for the project.
As the days passed, the pain got worse.
That Thursday morning, I woke up early to help Sis Diana, whom I was living with in Lagos, as she prepared for work. After she left, I went back to sleep because of the pain. I was hoping to feel better when I woke up. When I woke up later that morning, I immediately went to brush my teeth. While brushing, I noticed that I couldn’t shake water in both sides of my mouth properly while trying to rinse off the toothpaste. And when I wanted to pour the water out of my mouth, it was coming out from only one side of my mouth. It just felt really weird. “What is this?” I wondered. I didn’t think much of it, I just moved on.
Then I got on a call with my elder brother. While we were on the call, my smiles and laughter felt abnormal, they felt lopsided. So I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself as I laughed, and I saw that my mouth wasn’t normal. The call ended and I continued checking out my face in the mirror. By now, it was drooping.
I didn’t understand what was going on. I had never seen anything like that before in my life so I took my phone and typed in what I was seeing on Google. The result was Bell’s Palsy/Facial Palsy. Bell’s Palsy or facial Palsy is the paralysis of the facial nerve producing distortion on one side of the face. I read all I could find on it from reliable sources. (Yes, Google was right. But people, don’t google your symptoms.)
I freaked out! I started crying. I was just frantic. I was everywhere at the same time. I made a video of my face and sent it to my Sis. Diana. She told me to forget about it and get busy. I didn’t understand how she could be so calm about such a thing but looking back, I’m glad she was. I couldn’t even do any work. While I was crying, I was asking God what went wrong; I wanted to know if I opened a door that brought the sickness or if it was from Him. I was almost sure I didn’t open any door because I had been having an amazing time with the Holy Spirit.
When I finally settled down, I started playing songs on my phone. I played a song by Dunsin Oyekan titled ‘Those who will win’. The song was simply talking about how those who will win must know how to remain bowed before the Lord. They must know how to stay low so they can be lifted. As I played this song, I danced and cried at the same time. It was in the midst of all this that I felt the Holy Spirit say to me that the sickness had nothing to do with me, and it was all for His glory. This put me at peace so much. I spent the rest of the day listening to past messages from God’s Lighthouse.
Part 2
When Sis. Diana came back from work, she didn’t act like anything was out of the ordinary. She acted normally around me. The next day, she stayed back at home with me. During the worship of that Friday meeting, the Lord took me back to months of my constant Bible study and how I had been studying the life of Paul and his sufferings. Not like I planned to study about Paul, I was just studying the New Testament and we all know that a lot of it was written by Paul.
He made me see how I was always studying my Bible whether I felt like it or not. It was like a default setting for me; wake up in the morning, and study the Bible for hours. There were days that I missed my Bible study but I tried to catch up on it. The Lord was just helping me see how He had been highlighting the suffering of Paul to me. In fact, I had wondered why and wondered if I was about to suffer as well. I got there and then, that those months of Bible study were my training for this season, it was more like I heard Him say, “I want to see how you will utilise your season of suffering”.
After this, I had peace with everything since I knew God was in it with me. Sis Diana also helped to make me feel relaxed. I think that season was a season I made sure to laugh a lot.
Now with Bell’s Palsy, it’s not just about a distorted face. There was also pain in my head 24/7, my right eye wouldn’t close properly, I couldn’t taste food, my right ear was hurting and sounds were louder in that ear. I remember going to church that Sunday, it wasn’t funny. The noise messed with my head.
I recall an incident that happened one night. While going through pictures on my phone, I stumbled on one of the few pictures of myself where I was shining my teeth. Then I went ahead to search for others. And I saw how hard I was laughing in those pictures. Then it hit me that I could not smile like that anymore. I got teary and cried but just so the devil wouldn’t try to capitalise on it and start whispering thoughts, I told God that I just wanted to cry before Him and didn’t want the devil there. I went on my knees and cried as a song titled ‘Starlight’ played on. Sis. Diana was sleeping so I was able to have my moment alone with the Lord. That song turned out to be a song for that season of my life.
Part 3
After a while, I told my siblings about it. There was a debate as to whether I should go home and get treated or stay back with Sister Diana. I prayed about it and was led to go home. I also knew it was what I needed to do. I feared going home because I didn’t want an atmosphere that would bring doubt and fear. That’s why I wanted to stay with Sis. Diana as the environment was peaceful. But I knew I was supposed to face my fears – to go into that environment and thrive. Then I decided that I’d go home. It was the night I made my decision that my mum suddenly called me on a video call. She was shocked when she saw my face and asked me to come home the next day. When I got home with Sis Diana, my mum was destabilised when she finally saw me face to face. Thank God Sis. Diana was there, I didn’t allow her to throw me into fear.
We got to the hospital, and they ran some tests. After which they said I had to be admitted. They said I had malaria with a high parasite count. There was also low blood pressure and blood sugar (I think). They wanted to treat the other things first before coming to the palsy and to make sure that the palsy was not a result of an underlying health condition. Sis Diana supported me with what she had and stayed until I was put in a ward. My mum was so grateful to her.
The treatment started and it was a lot. From intravenous drips to injections, and medications. And the side effects of some of them were nothing like I expected. There was a particular medication that once I was given, l would become very sleepy and start to have closed-eye hallucinations, seeing all sorts of strange things. At some point, I had to tell Sis. Diana about it, and she told me to rebuke them, and I did.
I stayed in the hospital for two weeks and I spent a lot of time praying. I also watched a lot of Joni Eareckson Tada’s videos – a woman with quadriplegia and chronic pain, who has been paralyzed for over fifty years. She’s had breast cancer twice and also suffered other health conditions I can’t remember at the moment. She paints and draws with the brush in her mouth. Joni is paralyzed from her shoulder down. So apart from her neck upward, the rest of her body is useless. I watched a lot of her videos talking about suffering and how to see Jesus in it. There was a statement I heard her say in one of the videos that stood out to me. She said, “A splash-over of heaven is finding Jesus in your splash-overs of hell.” I took those words to heart and held on to them. In the midst of all this, I was healed of something else that I didn’t know was still there.
Part 4
On Wednesday, 20th July 2022, I got another layer of healing from trauma. I was given drugs as usual. I got drowsy, slept off, and had a dream about my dad trying to bury my mum. I was running to stop him but I couldn’t. I wasn’t able to find out if he killed her or not. I just saw smoke coming out of our house and other houses in the neighbourhood.
Context: My parents are separated, and one of the major reasons was because my dad beat up my mum often. Having to witness all of these had a strong effect on me and affected my life negatively. I was traumatised so much by the different times I came home to see a dead-looking woman – my mum, who was nothing like the one I left at home; and the different times I heard my dad threaten my mum saying he’d kill her or butcher her with a knife.
Before they separated, things were quite tense in the house, I and my siblings could hardly breathe. We had to always be alert whenever my dad was at home because we didn’t know when the trouble would start. Whenever we heard my dad’s voice in my mum’s room, we moved immediately to prevent any unfortunate incident.
Because I’m the first child, it affected me more. It got to the point my mum was losing her mind so I had to be her mother; look after her, sleep in her room with her just to assure her that she won’t die before the next morning, and many other things. In the middle of all this, I was also battling with dreams where my dad beat up my mum to the point of death. I’m giving this context so you understand why that dream triggered me.
When my eyes snapped open, I could feel my body shaking on the inside, more like it was jerking. The first thoughts that came were thoughts of, “Oh, if not because of my parents (my dad especially), I wouldn’t be here dealing with trauma and all sorts. I won’t be here dealing with a situation that is close to a partial stroke…”
More context: After I had been admitted, the doctor called my mum to ask her some questions – if I had gone through any stressful and traumatic events before now. She explained to him the different things I had to deal with from way back. Then the doctor told her that those traumatic events were part of the reason for the Bell’s Palsy. According to my mum, the doctor said that it would have been a partial stroke but somehow, it didn’t come to that.
So all these thoughts of blaming my parents, myself, and ultimately, God, harassed my mind. But I said aloud amidst tears, “Not today, Satan”. I was not crying from a place of pain and hurt, but from a place of thanksgiving to God. I said again, “Satan, not today. I’m not calling you into this party. I’m not calling for a pity party. It’s just me and Abba, I don’t want you here. Not today. You can get out”.
And I cried. I think a lot of those painful memories came back but they weren’t as painful, it was more like they were fading.
There’s this particular traumatising dream I had that always made me flinch whenever I remembered it. I tried to dig out the memory of the dream that day and I couldn’t remember it.
I cried and I was thanking God for healing me from trauma. I also prayed that He’d cleanse me of any residue left. And I felt there was a lot of cleansing and washing that went on in that season for me even as my body slowly healed from the Bell’s Palsy.
Part 5
As time went on, my face started to heal bit by bit. My mouth got better, my right eye started to close, and my smile started returning.
I forgot to mention that because of the constant IV line on my hand, I could only use one hand to eat, bathe, dress up, and do any other thing that required using my hands. It was a bit difficult but I thank God for helping me.
I also thank God for the people (family and friends) that God used to provide constant food at the hospital. I remember a nurse even cooked for me without me asking. That was a time in my life when I added a lot of weight. Just from my wrist, the weight gain was noticeable. I ate so much during that period, I couldn’t believe I could eat like that.
Another thing God did for me was to help me forgive my dad. He didn’t show up at the hospital all through the period. And even after I left, he still didn’t show up. At first, I wasn’t expecting him to come. But the more my family members were talking about it, the more it got to me. His excuse was that he didn’t have transport fare. But I prayed that God would forgive him, and with time, I forgot about it.
The day to be discharged came and the bill was over 100k. This was after the doctor had even cut down a lot because the ward we stayed in wasn’t even a regular ward, it was a VIP ward. Actually, the room belonged to a friend of my mum and it was with her influence that we were given that room and so much attention that we got at the hospital. Sis. Diana contributed what she could, and my mum got help from her friends so the bill was paid little by little till it was cleared.
In all, I’m so grateful to God for the deliverances, the healings, the lessons learned, the pains felt, the corrections made, and every other thing that happened in that period. I’m thankful to pastor, my shepherd – sis Diana, and the church for their prayers and care for me during that period.
Praise be to God who teaches our hands to war and our fingers to fight.
CHAPTER TWO
Dear Abba, We Did It
Part 6
After leaving the hospital in July, School resumed in August and I was still recovering. I wasn’t ready to resume because school was going to stress me out, especially my ongoing project. But I had to resume anyway. When the group was created initially, I knew I would have to take the lead and do about 80% of the work myself because the two other people in my group were quite unserious. I don’t like taking the lead, I like to hide. But God made sure that I led in this one because if I didn’t, my project would have suffered and I may have gotten an extra year.
I spoke with the other members of my project group and discovered they hadn’t done anything. The moment I got ill and excused myself, they also stopped working. I was really upset. They suggested that we go give our project to someone to write it for us. I knew that wasn’t right but I was double minded. After thinking about it long enough, I concluded that it was wrong and I won’t do it. I told Sis. Diana about it as well. I called them and told them we were going to do it ourselves.
My problem now was “Where do I start from? How do I write it?
Sis. Diana told me to seek the assistance of a brother in the church we were attending at that time. I spoke to him and he decided to help me. He told me how to start writing. I did my research about the topic and also asked the other two to do their research and send whatever they found to me.
I’d write and send it to the brother in church who’d correct, edit, and send it back to me. We’d have WhatsApp calls making additions, subtractions, and lots of things. He was so helpful and I was very grateful. The other two sent about four articles to me of which I already had two. After that, they stopped sending anything. I did all of the work on my phone from the beginning to the end.
In the midst of all this, I still had normal school work; classes to attend, assignments, tests, and books to read. The palsy tried to come back as well. I’d feel my lips trembling, my right eye and cheeks twitching. I told my shepherd who led me to thank God for my body parts, and I did. I really thank God for strength.
When the day of my project defence came, God helped me. The supervisors asked us questions and my group members were answering off point despite the fact that I was sending them the work as I was doing it before we finally printed the hard copy out. They didn’t read it! When the external supervisor saw that I was the only one answering, he stopped me from answering the rest of the questions as he wanted the others to respond. They were just stuttering. I was just praying under my breath that these people would not use their own to spoil everything for me. In God’s mercy and grace, it went well. I remember screaming in delight when the defence ended. God is good!
Part 7
My exams came and I was able to write them with no disturbance from either the examiners or my coursemates. In all my previous exams, I was always delayed because I had not finished paying my school fees or some other fees so I’d be unable to finish my registration due to that. I remember a woman had even called me aside one of those periods and said, “You’re always having issues during exams. Be careful so people don’t put their eyes on you“. I was embarrassed several times and was even called a liar because of unpaid fees.
This time however, I finished paying everything long before exams. So I entered the exam halls without stress or pleading as it used to be the case.
God provided money for my school fees, as well as my weekly upkeep through my shepherd; and took care of the rest through others. When I was done with my final exams, I was relieved.
I remember looking back at my life and how I came into that school, and just being grateful to God. I came in walking dead with baggage enough to last a lifetime, but I was leaving school alive and kicking. Yes, I was tired but I didn’t lose my life (spiritually and physically) in the course of schooling!
On the morning of my final paper, the Holy Spirit reminded me of how I should have gotten admission in 2018, but just at the last minute, I didn’t get it. It was as if the Lord just went, “One more thing before the admission, hold on”. And that was the year Sis. Diana came to Lagos. Then in 2019, I gained admission, met her in 2020, and joined God’s Lighthouse that same year. God had it all planned out, He was watching out for me and ordering my steps.
I don’t know what I’d have become if I never met her or if I never stayed in her house. Staying with my shepherd was a covering for me, not just spiritually but financially, materially, and in other areas too!
After my final exams, my project was still ongoing. I didn’t finish the whole project work until November. My supervisor gave me the highest score (because he knew I did most of the work). I had an A of 70! If it was possible, I wanted to leave for Uyo immediately after I was done with my project. Everything about Lagos started to irritate and disgust me. I felt like I had carried so much dirt and needed a thorough bath. My devotions didn’t seem enough, everything was getting to me.
Then in December 2022, the Deeper Waters Retreat was announced, and I was so excited about it.
I think it was also around this time that my final year results also came out. I had 6As, 6Bs, 1C and 1D. A GPA of 4.30 and a CGPA of 4.09.
I was also given an award for the best Student in English Language at my graduation ceremony.
I also want to thank God that throughout my years in school, I had no carryover. It’s not because I knew what I was doing most of the time, God just overshadowed my weaknesses.
I’m grateful for all these blessings and help. God indeed saw me through to the end.
When I look back, I’m grateful for all the lessons that came with my parents not having enough money to splurge around and provide everything I needed or wanted in school. Because while that would have seemed like a good thing, it may have stifled my growth and my walk with God. I won’t have learned all the things I learned while staying with my shepherd. I’m grateful for all the times that God “delayed” before finally providing, it helped me to trust Him greatly. I’m grateful God brought me to God’s Lighthouse. I’m grateful for all of pastor’s teachings that helped me to stand in times of trouble and temptation.
Dear Abba, we did it!!
CHAPTER THREE
The Deeper Waters
Part 8
After the news of the Deeper Waters retreat came, and I was certain I was going, Sis. Diana asked me to go home and see my family. This was a week before the retreat. I was to use the week to be with them and also tell them that I’d be travelling. I didn’t think I’d have any problem because my mum was familiar with sis Diana and my relationship with her.
I went back home on Monday and of course, everyone was happy to see me. On Wednesday, I started talking to my mum about coming to Uyo with Sis. Diana, and she said no. I kept praying and asking, hoping that she’d change her mind, but she didn’t.
It didn’t make sense. Everybody in my family loves Sister Diana. When it came to her, my mum permitted me to go anywhere with her. But on this one, she remained unmovable. Even my sister was surprised that she refused. Her reason was that the distance was too far. And this made me wonder; “This is the person that I stayed with all through my schooling years. If you can trust your daughter to stay with someone you don’t know for that long, why can’t you trust her to take care of your daughter for a week or two?”
On Saturday of that week, Sis. Diana called my mum concerning the matter, and she still refused. When my mum was done with the call, she just got really angry and started shouting, saying all sorts. I was just crying during the whole thing. Amongst the things she said, one thing stood out to me. She said; “That’s how they asked me why I allowed my daughter to stay with someone I don’t know. Why did I allow my daughter to live with someone that’s not from my tribe? They told me to take her out of that place, that the church she’s going to isn’t a good one. Do I know what the person saw before they said it? It’s not everyone that calls God that’s serving God”.
I was so annoyed by those words. In my mind, I was like, “Why now? Why is it now that they’re telling you? Why didn’t they tell you when I was still in school? Or why didn’t you take me out when I was still in school and needed money left and right? Why is it now that I’m done?”
The truth is that if my schooling was left to my parents alone, they wouldn’t have been able to see me through. The financial state of my family was really bad. Out of anger, my mum ordered me never to go to that church (GLH) again. She threatened that if she even got angrier, she’d separate me from Sis. Diana. I and Sis Diana were devastated. I wasn’t even sure of going to church the next day. By evening, I had concluded that I wouldn’t make it for the retreat. I was destabilised all through that day. I had attached so much to the retreat, it was like my life was going to shatter if I didn’t go. Every single day was taking away the little strength I had left, I was scared that I’d lose strength and stop pushing. I didn’t want that to happen.
That evening, I saw a message from my shepherd;
Sis. Diana: Come to church tomorrow. Plan to come home (my house) from there.
Me: And then what happens?
Sis. Diana: You may leave for Uyo from there.
Me: This means war.
Part 9
After the chat, I started asking God to give me a scriptural backing for what I was about to do. Deep down, I knew I had to do this, but I wanted that extra assurance. Then Luke 14:25-34 came to mind. I went through it, and it assured me but I was still scared.
“My mum will kill me,” I thought.
I saw that the Saturday evening Bible study had begun on one of the GLH WhatsApp groups I was on. When I opened it, they were talking about Peter’s persecution and suffering for Christ. When I scrolled down to start from the beginning of the discussion and catch up, Luke 14:25-34 was what was staring back at me. That was what the study started with. What other confirmation did I need to know I was on the right path?
But I was still very scared of my mum, I was scared of the things she may have done. I made up my mind (though with so much fear) that I was going to do what my shepherd asked me to do.
Sis Diana sent me transport to come to church the next day, and I went to withdraw it. On my way to withdraw that night, my mum was coming back on a bike and she saw me. She asked where I was going, I told her I was going to get ‘something.’ I made sure to collect the money and also get ‘something’ I needed.
Later that night, Sis Diana sent me prophetic words that were gotten as my coming for the retreat was being prayed about due to the contentions that were surrounding it. One of the words talked about how the retreat was going to bring me freedom from something that I had been afflicted with for so long. But my healing was going to be determined by what I was willing to do to get the healing.
So I went into my mum’s room and got the clothes I’d wear to church the next day. She didn’t suspect anything. She just thought I was trying to prepare for church the next day without disturbing her. My people, I didn’t sleep properly that night. I was so filled with fear.
Finally, I woke up early the next morning and woke my cousin as well because we were supposed to go to church together.
With the dress I picked out for church, I gave the impression that I was going to a church in front of my house and not God’s Lighthouse in Yaba. I also acted like I was going to the church with my cousin so my mum wouldn’t notice anything if, per adventure, she woke up before we left. Until we left the house, my mum didn’t wake up. The moment I stepped out of my compound, I was free! I bade my cousin goodbye and I started my journey to Yaba. Throughout the service, scenarios of my mum doing something very irrational were building in my head. My fear was more because something like this had happened before and I know what my mum did. She made sure I had little or nothing to do with the family involved anymore.
By the time it was noon, my mum started calling. I guessed my cousin had gotten home and she realised we didn’t go to church together. Later in the evening when I had gotten to Sis. Diana’s house, I called her back but she didn’t respond. Then she called me back and asked if I didn’t see her calls. I told her I was in church and couldn’t pick up when she called. She asked where I was, I told her, and she said “Odaro o”. (Odaro in Yoruba means ‘goodnight’)
Normally, my mum knows not to expect me back the same day when I go to Sis. Diana’s place. In fact, she’d prefer me to stay back and stay as long as I want. So when she told me goodnight, I believed she already knew I wouldn’t be coming home that night. This was around 7 pm.
Suddenly, my sister called me while we were chatting and started asking me where I was, why did I go out without telling mummy, and saying all sorts. I didn’t understand why she was upset. Then my mum called again and asked where I was.
“Ahn ahn, was it not you I just finished speaking to some minutes ago?” I muttered to myself.
I responded again, and she suddenly flared up and dropped the call. I didn’t understand. It felt as if something had just switched in her. Then I sent her a message later that night that I’d be leaving for Uyo the next day. After sending the message, I dropped my phone and went to sleep to prepare myself for the big journey.
Part 10
By 5 am the next day, Monday, I was up. I packed my bags, had a bath, dressed up, and left. Sis. Diana sent me more than enough money for transport and linked me to a driver at the bus park. While on my way, I saw my mum’s voice note in response to my message last night, I listened and she kept saying “I dare not”. Me that was already on my way. After listening, I made it impossible for my family members to reach me and disabled my WhatsApp. Now I could only communicate via telegram.
“While I’m being rebellious, I might as well have peace,” I thought to myself.
I got to the park, paid for my ticket, and waited for my bus. The bus came and we started the journey. I didn’t know that was about to be the craziest journey of my life.
We hadn’t even gotten far when we stopped to repair the steering wheel. When we got to Ogun state or so, Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC) officials on the road wanted to stop us, but the driver sped past them. They kept shouting, “Stop! Stop!”, but he just zoomed off. I kept wondering why he didn’t wait and stop as they had said. I knew that his actions would land us in trouble.
After a while, we were stopped by FRSC again. I guess those had contacted their officials in front so they were looking out for our vehicle. We were stopped for about thirty minutes if not more. They were asking for money and people on the bus were contributing money, I didn’t.
Meanwhile, the passengers were all females except for one male amongst us.
After that, one of the tires got bad, and we spent another thirty minutes to one hour fixing it. During the journey, different officials were just stopping us. In the middle of this, the driver would stop to ease himself even when no passenger wanted to and buy beer! He stopped to buy beer twice! Later on, the driver voiced out “This road don dey confuse me o. I no know road again o”.
“Ehn! You no know wetin?” I exclaimed to myself.
Quickly, the male passenger on the bus brought out his phone and began to use Google Maps. It wasn’t even funny. I also brought out my phone and was using the map to track the journey. When we later stopped at Benin to stretch our legs and eat, the driver left us in the restaurant and went to do his own thing. What he went to do, I don’t know. When we finished, we were the ones looking for him. Later, we saw him coming down from a bike and walking towards us. We entered the bus, got fuel from the filling station, and continued the journey. It was not up to 40 minutes later, Mr driver stopped again and said he wanted to get fuel at another filling station. One lady started shouting at him, “Didn’t you just finish buying one 5000 naira fuel now now? Why are we buying another one? Have we quickly finished fuel?”
When the petrol attendant wanted to remove the fuel pump and start filling our tank, the fuel just started spilling out of the side of the hose, not even the pump. It didn’t make sense how it happened, so we quickly left the place. When we got to Ughelli around 8 pm, another tire went bad, and it needed to be changed. We asked people around who said we couldn’t get a mechanic around there at that time, so we had to fix it ourselves. The passengers came down and the driver and male started removing the tyre so it could be changed. When we got to a point, while still trying to remove the tyre, the driver left us! He went to join the men drinking beer and gisting in front of a provision shop.
We the passengers were the ones that fixed the tyre ourselves. After we finished, he was still saying we should calm down. We didn’t leave there until past 10 pm. I’m sure if we were all men looking like big people with all the muscles, he wouldn’t have treated us anyhow. There was nothing we could do than to wait.
A few minutes later, we continued our journey with Google Maps and tried to find our way. We stopped at Ogoni in Port Harcourt. This was around 1 am. We stopped in a place where lots of men were gisting and drinking in a shop. I was sleeping by the time we got to Ogoni, but I heard the passengers saying we were almost robbed. Apparently, one vehicle was following us and they suspected they were robbers so he quickly entered one street and stopped when he saw the men in the shop. I didn’t even come down like others, I just went back to sleep.
Around 6 am, we continued our journey. In this small journey, we were stopped again for another 15-20 minutes. I couldn’t believe it. When we got to Itam Park in Uyo, I told myself, “NEVER AGAIN”. I marked the driver’s face and decided I would not enter his bus again.
I arrived at the retreat venue after receiving directions. I got there in hopes of having my bath before moving to the auditorium, but no one was in the hostel. I saw another brother who told me to just go in so I went in with my sticky dirty body. Not long after that, Pastor called my name to ask how many times my bus had stopped on the road!
In all this, fear came up at different times. I was so afraid that things would go wrong, but nothing happened. I’m grateful I arrived safely amidst all the troubles.
Part 11
I enjoyed every moment of the retreat – the teachings, the testimonies, the worship, the food, seeing my brethren that I hadn’t seen in years and others that I hadn’t seen before. It was all such a delight.
A major battle I had to fight was sleep, and thoughts roaming in my mind about what was happening at home, and what would happen when I got back. I tried to fight off the thoughts, I even prayed for myself severally but it didn’t work so much. What I should have done was to go to a leader to pray for me. Sleepiness was such a battle, my God! At one point, I was even sleeping while standing, something I don’t think has ever happened to me before.
But I was grateful for my brethren who were also fighting as well because they helped me to fight.
By Thursday, I started having this weird feeling that I wouldn’t go back home on Saturday as planned. I didn’t understand it but it was just there. I told Sis. Diana about it and she agreed with me as the retreat would still be ongoing on Saturday. I was like, “Ah! I’m going to stay for more days? Fire and brimstone will fall from my mother.” But I was happy to spend more time with my brethren.
The last day of the retreat was the icing on the cake for me. I was just so happy that day, I danced and sang with reckless abandon. I had prayed that we’d sing one of our songs, ‘Hallelujah’ so I could also experience the joy and excitement that comes with that song live. And it happened! I was singing at the top of my voice, so excited and grateful to God that I didn’t succumb to pressure from my mum and stayed back at home.
On Saturday after the prayers for giftings and callings, I moved with some of my sisters to one of the family houses. My sisters were so sweet. I’ve never had to stay in a house with so many people who are not my biological family. But it didn’t feel weird, it felt perfectly okay. I shared the testimony of my journey to Uyo with them and other things. The devotions were beautiful, people always had something to share, especially at night devotions.
On Sunday, the Believers Bible School crash course was announced and I really wanted to attend it. But I was supposed to leave for Lagos the next day. Later that day, Sis. Diana sent me a message that Pastor said no one should travel on Monday. So I stayed back for the BBS.
After the BBS on Monday, Sis. Ihunanya and Sis. Awele convinced me to stay till the end instead of leaving the next day like I planned. I struggled but after so much talk, I agreed.
The water baptism and Psalm 139 deliverance prayers that were supposed to happen on Wednesday were moved up to Tuesday for the sake of those of us who intended to leave on Wednesday. I was glad and grateful for the change. By Monday night, I started feeling restless. There was this sudden desperation to leave on Tuesday morning. I didn’t understand it, I just really wanted to leave. I was so restless and kept trying to reach Sis. Diana so she could send me money to book a seat but she was unreachable. Some of my sisters told me to have peace about it and let it be. I got to understand later on that it was demons agitating.
On Tuesday, we finished what was left of the BBS, and I got baptised in water. Immediately after that, the deliverance prayer commenced. Prior to this time, I had had what I’d describe as mini deliverances done for me once or twice by my shepherd. Unknown to me, this session turned out to be the healing from an affliction that had been going on for years.
Part 12
My Demons
When they prayed for me, they shared some prophetic words and the things that were highlighted were; anger, seduction, harlotry, and the spirit of Jezebel.
Also, as they were praying, I saw the feet of what seemed like a giant, with feet so big. The being was pacing up and down asking, “Who’s there?” How I saw it was that it was inside me and it was agitated that someone had come to wake it up. It understood that it’s time was up so it was angry. After the group shared the first words which I confirmed, they prayed again. This was where the whole drama started.
I saw myself as a little child and it was like I was kicked out of my body. Then a stronger man (a demon) took over. I was fully conscious, hearing myself say things, and didn’t know how to stop because of the demonic presence inside me. My deliverance session was most likely the longest that happened that day because this demon was so stubborn and refused to leave. It was claiming that it had a legal right and could not leave. Not because of my sin, but because of something my parents and ancestors had done.
Demons indeed give people extraordinary strength because how do you explain the weird strength I had to fight off the strong people holding me down? I think about 4 to 6 people were holding my legs, and hands and sitting on me at once, how? This makes me grateful for the training that our Prophetic Intercessory Team (PIT) has been given. It’s nothing compared to any other place I have been. If not for this training and the strength that God gives to them, I’m sure many people would have punched them in the face, clawed their eyes out, or just ran out of the building during deliverance sessions.
From the deliverance that happened that day, it seemed as though seduction, harlotry, and the spirit of Jezebel were all tied in one big demon. Apart from the legal right that the demon was standing on, it also said things like, “Why did she come here? I tried to make her mother stop her but she won’t listen, the girl is too stubborn! She listens to that Diana too much! She obeys that Diana too much! She does anything Diana says! She’s too obedient! She shouldn’t have stayed in that Diana’s house! She should never have lived there in the first place! I shouldn’t have allowed it. Her mother should have taken her out of there! She should never have come here!” Then it started to threaten and say they (referring to the PIT team) would all pay.
I had said in the beginning that it felt as if I was kicked out of my own body so even though I was being delivered, I also saw myself watching the whole thing play out. At some point during the session, I saw a demon goddess who was said to have sent this other demon. I was shocked! The thing reach like this? I never thought it was that deep.
Context: The PIT team had asked me after the first prayer if I had sexual dreams, and I said yes.
I can’t remember when these dreams started but I hated it so much and wondered what it was. I am nothing like that in real life. Even before I came to God’s Lighthouse, I did not dress very inappropriately. My life was completely different from what those dreams portrayed so it didn’t make sense to me. The only thing I knew how to do was pray so I prayed a lot about it. Then the dreams would go for a while, and come back. And I’d pray again, it’d go and come back. I just kept praying. I got tired at some point because it kept coming back, but I didn’t know what else to do. Since praying about it brought some relief even though it was short-term, I kept praying. Sometimes, I’ll wake up crying in pain and begging God to take it away. I wish I knew better. It also brought back deep hatred for the men who had sexually assaulted me in the past. I felt it was their fault, if they hadn’t done what they did to me, I wouldn’t be here struggling for dear life.
The whole deliverance session felt like a battle of Lords. At some point, the demon began to beg to be left alone. At last, it left. But before it finally did, I started gasping for breath. My hands were beginning to go cold, the demon was trying to take my life as it was leaving. But God didn’t allow it.
It made me recall that in 2015, I suddenly developed a health crisis that didn’t make sense. I was in a church meeting and had led the praise and worship. As I was walking back to my seat, I fell, and before I knew it, I was gasping for breath. It was so bad that my legs and hands became cold like that of a dead person. I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. The people around rushed me home that night after the gasping stopped. But it came back at intervals. I wasn’t asthmatic, I have never been so I wondered what the problem was. I was taken to a nearby clinic and was given drugs but it persisted. The gasping could go on for 5-10 minutes, it was bad. I was later taken to a family friend whose mother is a nurse. When I got there, it happened again and I remember the woman’s husband saying, “Ah! Jesus! Why is this girl so cold?” It was after that episode in the church meeting that I started to have health issues. This episode has come up at different times in my life after that.
So when the same thing happened again during the deliverance in 2022, I got the understanding that it was demonic. By the time I was properly conscious and realised all that had just happened by putting all the pieces together, I cried so much. I just kept thinking, “So it wasn’t what I did? So I was afflicted for another person’s mistake?” I was very relieved and grateful to be free. Then, the prophetic word about me breaking off something that I had been afflicted with for so long made so much sense.
God is very very intentional about me, no one can tell me otherwise.
My journey has been so beautiful and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
May the name of the Lord be praised.
Sis Moyo. O
Aug 2024
Ⓒ God’s Lighthouse 2024
